That is what the world feels like.
That is what the world is.
It was 12:55 am. Her pillow was wet with her tears. But that was nothing new for her. It happened every night. She licked the salty water off her lips. Unlike normal humans, the salty water tasted amazing to her. It was undoubtedly the best taste for her. It…expressed her. It was a taste of her emotions.
Emotions. They were all around her; had been all around her since her birth. Her birth was only a macabre joke that revolved around emotions. She was born alone with nobody for her. When she was born, she cried. She recently turned sixteen and she still cries. She was tired of her life, tired of living the empty, dark joke since birth. She had borne the burden for many long years. She had lover after lover in hopes that they would somehow reduce her pain. She tried to become cold and indifferent to the world but the hollow voices of the past kept on haunting her and hindering her path to success. She decided. At 12:55 am on 13.11.2015, she decided that she had had enough. She decided to go and explore the void, for once and for all. Let the world go to hell.
She wrote out a long note to her family and friends. She went online and texted her best friend, “I quit.”
She took the rope out from under her bed, where it had been waiting for a long time. It smiled at her, she thought. She switched off the fan. She flung the rope around the fan. She made a loop in the rope, which would tighten as soon as she put her neck into it. She viewed it with misty eyes. She said, “Bye, Earthlings.” As she was about to put her neck in the noose, she saw her father’s phone lying on her desk. What if he came to the room right now to take his phone before she finished with herself? The door was shut but unlocked. She got down from the bed, went and locked the door and took her final position again. This time, she closed her eyes. She put the noose around her neck. Before tightening it, she hesitated for one moment. Was she doing the right thing? And in that one moment of hesitation, emotions flooded her like never before. She started screaming and crying. She sat down on the bed, her face buried in her hands.
She could not do it.
She was a coward.
Her entire happiness lay in just a simple tightening of the noose…and she failed to do that.
She deserved whatever she got in her life.
She was a coward.
She deserved to be alone.